Freddy Fastfingers

I like the idea of giving to the poor and taking from the rich, man. Freddy on the imminent Marxist-leninist revolution I met this lovely lady named Lucy and she’s, uhm – she’s really cool, man. She came from like a cult in Germany or something, and apparently her entire cult died. She may or […]

Evebot Serial No. 69420

Processing. Eve on the best way to get past grief My favorite human emotion is shock. I will demonstrate. Bzzt. Ouch ouch. Yes. It is a Pokemon move. I like the sound that humans make when I do it. Excitement, or shock. Gasp. I like the noise of shock. Gasp. Gasp. Gasp. I prioritize my […]

Oen Van Ommeren

I can’t tell you that. Oen on the recipe for cluckin’ bell’s 46 herbs and additives I think this universe is probably a bit – there are not many possibilities in this universe, I think. I can go further than that. [REDACTED] So I know how, but I have to find a way – and […]

Old Man Checkers

I have shot zero people in the forehead with a pressurized air gun so far. It’s a life goal. It’s a work in progress. Checkers on continuous improvement At the burger shot there was a Japanese woman who punched me and knocked me out and had me… she had me admitted into the hospital due […]

Pinto Patel

It’s one of those things that’s better to see in action than to really tell. Pinto on his eighteen-inch schmeat cannon Sharing is caring, that’s what I like to say. Sharing is caring. To be quite honest with you, you know, like the Cookie Monster – you know, sometimes it’s good to eat all the […]

Elder Spencer Smith

The best part about today was waking up. The best part about yesterday was finding two new wives after my mission. Spencer on the godly order of the household One time I volunteered in Nicaragua, and I hauled bananas upstairs for 36 hours straight. My legs felt like they were going to fall off. I […]

Koji Parker

I start bleeding sometimes, and if it’s like a little bit of blood, I’ll just lick it up, so that way it doesn’t hurt anymore. But I wouldn’t say I would lick any other kind of bodily fluids. KOJI ON CELIBACY Generally I decide to take on a project by the looks of the vehicles […]

Tee Veeman

I think I’m gonna go with Liv from the Vanilla Unicorn. Tee on who he is taking to prom I showed a bunch of people during a dance competition my new song that I made and everybody liked it. Pretty much, I just like to find businesses that seem interested through the people that I […]

Dillion White

My best friend would be a big large-mouth bass. And I’d be the Master Baiter – there is no bait he does not know and no fish he can’t catch. DILLiON ON FISH EROTICA I used to live in a town where everyone smelled like fish, and you couldn’t really tell the difference between locals […]

Lando Stormborn of the Mountain Kingdom in the North

It is Valentine’s day, and I am completely alone. I rolled two dice to find out the length of my fishing rod, and I rolled two on both of them, so it was a very small fishing rod. Lando on relationships My biggest regret – I was deceived by someone that I considered a good […]

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