Old Man Checkers

I have shot zero people in the forehead with a pressurized air gun so far. It’s a life goal. It’s a work in progress.

Checkers on continuous improvement

At the burger shot there was a Japanese woman who punched me and knocked me out and had me… she had me admitted into the hospital due to a cracked jaw and I was, like, delirious for a few days.

The weirdest thing happened – Tinkerbelle and Captain Hook drove me to the hospital and I was waving my hands kind of like this (gestures erratically) as if I was Peter Pan. And flying.

Both honestly aren’t that great. The animated one’s a little overrated, but the other one is really bad. I didn’t like it.

Checkers on whether he prefers hentai or traditional pornography

Well, honestly, it all started when my mom went missing on my tenth birthday. The police suspected foul play but I think she just left, to be completely honest with you. My father wouldn’t talk to me for the next five years and he would put me to work in landscaping and to work on motorized vehicles.

At home, he would lock me into my room and he would only give me one bathroom break per night, so I had to have a corner for my fecal matter and a bucket for my piss.

Then, a boy by the name of Daniel Whitney came along, and he nearly beat me half to death. My father did nothing about it as he sat there and drank a beer – and as I lay there lifeless, barely conscious, my father said “Get up. It’s time to get back to work.” And from then on, I knew what I had to do. I had to leave.

To be honest with you, son, I’m wearing a diaper at this moment.

checkers on his fetishes

I’m here to make a statement that us boomers can still hang in society. And we can be hip – AND cool.

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