Pinto Patel

It’s one of those things that’s better to see in action than to really tell.

Pinto on his eighteen-inch schmeat cannon

Sharing is caring, that’s what I like to say. Sharing is caring. To be quite honest with you, you know, like the Cookie Monster – you know, sometimes it’s good to eat all the cookies. But sometimes it’s always good to share.

It started with a new york style cheescake. You know those new york style cheesecakes? It’s like a pie, you know? Like an apple pie? Except cheesecake. And, you know, it came down to the last slice – and, uh, well, there was this beautiful – absolutely beautiful broad. And when I went to go grab the slice, she was trying to go grab the slice as well.

And at that moment, I realize – sharing is caring. You know?

Sharing is caring, that’s what I like to say.

Pinto on a one-state solution to the israeli-palestinian conflict

I always wanted to be some type of programmer, or one of those guys who do those things. Probably do something like that. I’m good with numbers, but you know, I would love to really make programs and things like that – but it’s really complex, buddy.

I took C++ and got a F+, you heard me? Jesus Christ, I tell you what, you live and learn, buddy. You live and learn.

Let me just tell you, I felt warm and fuzzy afterwards, and I’m pretty sure she, uh – well, I mean, she looked flabbergasted, you know?

Pinto on stealing a child’s blue ribbon for largest eggplant at the county fair and taping it to his banana hammock

You try to live each moment in the present and you try to make it positive. I’m all about the p’s, buddy. Hence: Pinto Patel. P². You know? Positive is what keeps it present. Keeps it going forward. Plural – p’s, once again. Multiple p’s.

I’m a loving, caring guy. Trustworthy. At the end of the day, I’d give my shirt off my back for you, even if it made me cold. Even if it made me shiver.

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