I used to live in a town where everyone smelled like fish, and you couldn’t really tell the difference between locals and non-locals – the only way you knew someone wasn’t from your town was if they said that you smell weird. That’s how you know, obviously, that alright, well, you ain’t from here, because we all smell like fish. That’s what we do, we fish for a living.
One day, I met this really cute girl. We were sitting at the table, and she told me she was from the neighborhood – but then she asked me do I always smell like that? And that’s when I kinda knew. She ain’t really from here. She was lyin’ to me right off the bat. I think that was probably one of the low points of my life.
My left pinky toe and the toe beside that – whatever it’s called – is actually webbed. That’s my biggest insecurity. Makes me one hell of a swimmer though, I’ll tell you what. Most of the time, people don’t get too mean with it. It’s more of a, kind of a hey, that’s weird type of thing.
One guy said it looks like I stepped in you-know-what. Like, male seed.
He called me cum-toe, man.
I think, personally, that President Joe Biden is from Africa. That’s what I think, some people say it’s a conspiracy theory, but I’m 99% sure. The whole country of Africa. My evidence? That’s why him and Obama get along so well. I think they might be actual – maybe stepbrothers?